by Ima Schmuck
The Unconventional Gazette | September 4, 2013
HOUSTON, TX — Houston Police Chief Charles McClelland was driving his city car to work at 8;15 Wednesday morning when, one block from police headquarters, he ran into a pedestrian who had just stepped off the curb. James Harris, a Houston lawyer, was taken to St. Joseph’s Hospital with injuries to both arms and released later that morning.
Chief McClelland explained, “I made a left turn on Clay, from Clay onto Travis. I had a green light and he had a green light to walk across the street. For whatever reason, I didn’t see him.”
Officers from HPD’s traffic accident division conducted an investigation of the incident. They determined that McClelland was the victim of a careless or unscrupulous lawyer who deliberately banged into the chief’s car. Capt. Tom Swarthmore said, “We intend to take this case to the District Attorney and ask that Criminal Mischief charges be filed against Mr. Harris for denting the chief’s car. If the chief didn’t see him, it was only because Harris jumped in front of the car at the last second.”
UPDATE: Two witnesses who asked not to be identified have come forward to tell KHOU they overheard the two investigating officers and their sergeant at the scene. One officer is alleged to have said, “We’re going to ticket the chief, aren’t we?” The sergeant replied, “You gotta be kidding, do you want to be transferred to some shit detail on the night shift? No, we've got to save the chief's bacon on this one.” The officer then said, “But McClelland is an asshole.” The other officer responded, “Yeah, but he's our asshole.”